


Romantic Aspirations

by Fridoline



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: M/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22761517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fridoline/pseuds/Fridoline
Summary: Haruki joins a group date to fill in the numbers for the guys on Yatake's request. Akihiko is invited too and quickly hogs all the female attention to Take-chan's chagrin. Haruki can't help but ponder his ongoing crush on his bandmate as well as his relationship with women.
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko/Nakayama Haruki
Comments: 6
Kudos: 101





	Romantic Aspirations

**Author's Note:**

> This is set some time before Mafuyu joins the band  
> I wanted to have it right after Haruki recruited Akihiko but decided to make it a little later since I wanted Haruki to already have his long hair  
> So it's roughly 6 months before the manga/anime starts

Haruki was getting a bit tired, he’d had a long day and the alcohol didn’t help to keep him awake much either. He wouldn’t have attended the group date in the first place, if not for Take-chan’s desperate last-minute plea for some more guys, since they were a bit lacking in male participants.

Haruki wasn’t too fond of mixers. Group dating wasn’t for him and he usually just tagged along to fill in the numbers. The girls this round really weren’t shy at all and it quickly dawned on him that most of them were not looking for something long-term, to say it nicely. Not that most of the guys would mind that.

Group dates used to be about forming connections and looking for a girl- or boyfriend but these days they tended to aim for more short term fun. Though of course it always depended on who was attending.

Beside him, Take-chan was setting his beer glass on the table with a bit of force, eliciting a dull thunk from the coaster. Haruki glanced at his friend and followed his glare to where he knew it was trained on Akihiko, who was currently holding the attention of quite a few women of their group.

“If you keep scowling like that, you’ll scare everyone away,” Haruki reprimanded Take-chan with an amused note to his tone.

Yatake huffed in annoyance and took another big gulp of his beer. It wasn’t exactly anything new for them, Haruki and Yatake both tended to end up in the unpopular zone of most of the group dates they attended, especially when Akihiko joined the guys.

Haruki leaned back, swirling the last sips of his beer in his glass. He was already quite tipsy and decided not to order more after he finished this one, so he tried to drag it out a bit ‘cause it was usually hard to resist a refill with an empty glass.

“Why do you keep inviting Akihiko when you dislike him so much?” Haruki didn’t mean to be this frank but the alcohol had loosened his tongue a bit and the words were out of his mouth before he even knew he had thought them.

Yatake let out a defeated sigh.

“Well, he is your bandmate, we needed more guys and,” he scratched his chin, “Kaji is popular, so some of the hot girls will definitely attend if he is around.”

Haruki raised an eyebrow at that tactic.

“Huh, working out really well for you.”

That earned him a bump against his shoulder from Yatake who did not appreciate the cheekiness from his junior but it had also managed to put a smile back on his face.

Haruki looked over to Akihiko and the pile of women around him. Despite the introduction round, he had already forgotten most of the names. Usually he bothered to at least try to remember them for the evening but this night he hadn’t been part of too many conversations and his brain was still tired from a long day of college classes, work and band practice.

The girls on both of Akihiko’s sides were clinging to his arms, one more casual than the other trying to disguise her touches as being a very tactile talker. Sometimes her hand even landed on Akihiko’s thigh, who did not seem to be bothered by any of this at all. Why would he. The women were gorgeous.

Coming on a bit strong for Haruki’s taste but then again he could not blame them either, Akihiko was quite a catch with his handsome face, the allure of his piercings added to his bad-boy image and his fit physique could only be missed if you were blind.

Yepp, Haruki’s crush on his bandmate was still holding strong and might have been one of the reasons he wasn’t that interested in hooking up with any of the girls. Even though Haruki kept telling himself he was looking for a girlfriend to get over this weird thing, since these mushy feelings probably stemmed from being too lonely since his last break-up.

Haruki took a small sip of his drink. Down the table the topic of the ongoing conversation seemed to change to what body part of the opposite sex you found most attractive. The ladies were not holding back on swooning over abs, nice pecs, back muscles and strong arms, incidentally all things that Akihiko possessed.

Before Haruki could be dragged into the coarse boobs vs butt discourse that the guys tended to get into, he excused himself for a quick smoke break. Even though smoking inside the room was technically not forbidden, the mixer was held in a very traditional wooden house and patrons tended to show their respect for the historic building and the owners by stepping out onto the balcony surrounding the upper floor or just walking out on the street in front of the shop to have their smoke.

Haruki made a quick detour to the bathroom before walking out into the cool night air on the balcony at the end of the hallway. There was a slight breeze that blew the loose strands of his hair into his face as he leaned over the balustrade to look at the people passing by on the street underneath.

The fresh air instantly rejuvenated Haruki so that he felt less tired than in the stuffy room with all the people. Pulling out his cigarette pack from his jeans pocket, he put one of the sticks between his lips and lit it with the lighter he kept in his pack. The first drag Haruki inhaled deeply, then he blew the smoke up into the air watching it dissipate slowly.

Haruki leaned his elbows on the balustrade and let his eyes wander over the people, the surrounding buildings and the sky. He was careful not to ash down on the passing crowd but use one of the ashtrays the owners had placed up here instead.

He didn’t stay alone for too long, a few minutes after Haruki’s arrival he heard approaching footsteps. When he turned around to greet the other guest of the establishment, he saw that it was Akihiko who joined him on the balcony.

“Yo, fleeing the scene?” Akihiko greeted him. It felt as if they hadn’t talked in forever to Haruki but that was just part of his weird imaginations.

“Mhm, kind of. I don’t think I will be missed much. How did you manage to escape your following?”

Akihiko shrugged.

“ **I** missed you.” He made sure to stress the ‘I’ and Haruki wished it didn’t sound so cute. Akihiko had the knack of saying things that fuelled Haruki’s irrational hope without ever meaning it in that way. But Haruki wasn’t completely delusional, he knew it was just his wishful thinking that made his heart skip a beat every single time.

He snorted at his friend’s remark.

“Sure you didn’t just follow me to bum a smoke from me?”

“Now that you’re mentioning it…” Akihiko’s cheeky grin was too charming. Haruki clicked his tongue but held out his glowing cigarette to him anyways. Akihiko leaned down a bit to take a deep drag and Haruki followed the movement with transfixed eyes.

He put the smoke back between his own lips afterwards, with a flutter in his chest like a teenaged girl that would get excited about the idea of an indirect kiss. For Haruki it was the memory of those thin lips around the butt of his smoke just three seconds ago that left a lasting impression.

In silent question, Haruki held out his pack of smokes to Akihiko, a quiet offer to get more than just one drag off of his half-smoked cigarette. Akihiko did not let this chance pass and pulled one stick out for himself. He didn’t have to ask for fire, since Haruki had the lighter ready to offer up the needed flame as well. It was a practiced move between them but Haruki always enjoyed the sight of the fire lighting up Akihiko’s face. It only lasted a few seconds but always brought such a nice glow to his cheekbones and eyelashes especially.

“There any girl you like amongst the bunch?” Akihiko’s casual tone masked his curiosity.

Haruki was still sunken halfway into his own train of thoughts before he caught up to what he was asked.

“Huh? Oh, mhmm, not really. I mean I did not have much of a conversation with many of them apart from the usual small-talk questions. So it’s hard to get interested in anyone in particular.”

Akihiko looked at him with something akin to a mixture of interest and amusement.

“What?” Haruki frowned. He had answered the question truthfully.

“Anyone you think is pretty?”

“They are all pretty!”

Akihiko burst out laughing and Haruki started pouting. This line of questioning was stupid and he did not understand what Akihiko was trying to get out of him.

“Come on, you don’t have a type? You’re really making this difficult.” Akihiko grinned at him, still amused at his vanilla approach to women.

“Urgh, is that what you’re doing? Trying to set me up with someone?”

“Nah, I’m just curious.”

Haruki squinted his eyes into a suspicious glare.

“You do realize that I left the room at the start of the boobs vs butt discussion for a reason, right?”

“Yepp, that’s exactly why I want to know what the great Haruki-san finds attractive.”

Haruki groaned at that cheeky statement with the sarcastic honorific. This guy was insufferable and he could be pretty persistent. Letting his head drop down onto his crossed forearms on the balustrade, Haruki’s hair slid over his shoulder and the side of his head as the low ponytail shifted with the theatric movement.

Akihiko just stepped closer, smiling to himself since he knew he’d get his answer sooner or later. Haruki was an honest guy and he always ended up giving Akihiko what he wanted one way or another.

“So, what makes you all hot and bothered?”

“Don’t put it like that!” Haruki mumbled from between his arms.

Akihiko loved to tease him. He knew Haruki was easily flustered. But this question was really unfair, especially coming from your secret crush. The crush that happened to be a guy, a fact that still threw Haruki for a loop sometimes, even if he had had enough time to get used to the idea.

But Akihiko wanted to know his preferences in women. Well, he could tell him that much.

Haruki straightened up and looked Akihiko in the face, while pondering his answer, thinking back on previous girlfriends and what they might have had in common.

“Mhmm, a nice face?” Whoops, that was the first thing that had drawn him to Akihiko, made him fall for him on first glance, perhaps something else then.

“Maybe more the cute type?” Akihiko had his moments, too, like when he was chewing in his sleep. This was harder than he had thought. Haruki began to suspect he didn’t have a real type, it just depended on the personality and chemistry between partners. And when these things fit, wasn’t everything automatically attractive to you?

“Those sound more like questions than answers.” Akihiko clearly got some amusement out of Haruki’s plight. But it was interesting and frankly not surprising at all to see that Haruki was not the type of guy to put a lot of emphasis on big boobs or any other specific parts of the appearance. Still, he was a guy, there had to be some attribute he always liked in a partner.

“So there is nothing that always catches your eye? That you find sexy?”

Haruki frowned. He took a last drag of his cigarette and put it out in the ashtray. When he turned back to Akihiko to watch him smoke, the cig loosely held between his fingers, bringing it up to his lips, he had his answer clear as day before him.

“Hands.”

“Huh?” Akihiko blew out the plume into the night sky then turned to Haruki, a question in his eyes as if he hadn’t heard the answer correctly.

“Hands. They are pretty sexy,” Haruki reaffirmed his realization with a slight blush tinting his cheeks.

“Hands,” Akihiko repeated, a little stunned. “How are hands sexy again?”

“Oh come on, they are very expressive!” Not to say, all the touching hands did. Warm skin under your fingertips and more. Things that Haruki did not want to think about in depth right now.

Judging by his growing grin, Akihiko seemed to have caught on to what hands were capable of.

“Hmmm, look at you, I knew you were hiding a naughty side all this time.”

Haruki couldn’t help the glow on his cheeks. Sometimes it was really hard to remember that Akihiko was two years younger than him, the audacious tease!

“So, what is your weakness then? You seem to be the type who likes breasts,” Haruki really needed to switch the focus of this conversation from him to Akihiko, even if some part of him was screaming at him that he really did not need to know this piece of information.

“Yeah, they are nice but nothing special.”

Haruki just barely refrained from biting his lips. Nothing special? He was aware that Akihiko was somewhat promiscuous, not that it was any of Haruki’s business, but it made him wonder what kind of sex life one had to lead to come to such a conclusion. It dampened his mood considerably and Haruki wished they would end this conversation sooner rather than later.

Directing his gaze back forward to the buildings across the street, Haruki’s expression became more sombre with his darkened disposition. He only hummed in acknowledgement of the reply, not bothering to dig deeper anymore. He would only be digging his own grave with this stupid conversation.

Akihiko noticed the shift in tone immediately. He let silence settle between them for a while, quietly smoking his cigarette down to the butt before discarding it in the same ashtray as Haruki had.

The wind picked up a bit and Haruki’s hair was whipping him in the face. He was so lost in thought again that he didn’t really notice until Akihiko’s fingers gently graced his skin as he combed some loose strands back behind Haruki’s ears. It made him flinch in surprise.

Akihiko was a very tactile person but Haruki still could not get used to these types of casual touches. They always made him flinch or twitch in surprise and left him flustered as his heart never failed to skip a beat.

Haruki had turned to Akihiko in his wide-eyed surprise but his friend was still looking at his honey-blond hair, tugging playfully at Haruki’s ponytail and letting the silky strands run through his grip.

“For me it’s the nape.”

Haruki could only blink in confusion. Akihiko was continuing their previous conversation as if there hadn’t been a lull in it but Haruki was still reeling from the electric feeling of having him play with his hair absent-mindedly.

“Long hair is pretty, but what’s really exciting is getting a glimpse of that piece of naked skin that is otherwise hidden from sight. The nape is really sexy to me.”

Akihiko let go of Haruki’s hair, leaving it to fall back and drape over his shoulder. Oh the irony of Akihiko liking long-haired girls. It was as if a spell had broken and Haruki managed to find his voice again.

“Heh, what a surprise, I didn’t take you for the classical, sensual type.” It was meant as a tease. And it was an absolute lie. Akihiko was radiating sensuality. It was in the way he moved, in his deep voice and the way he did and said everything with such confidence. No wonder the girls were falling for him left and right.

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Akihiko playfully slapped Haruki’s arm in mock offense.

“Hehe, no, I get it,” Haruki laughed, thinking back towards Aya-chan, his previous girlfriend, and how she had looked like during the last festival they had attended together.

“Mhmm, when she has her hair pinned up and is wearing a kimono, the way the nape is framed and accentuated by the fabric, yeah it’s pretty erotic.”

Haruki snickered. He thought he had sobered up a bit at the fresh air but in this moment he still felt quite tipsy. What had been the point of this conversation? He didn’t know. But he was getting cold out here without his jacket.

“Let’s go back, I’m sure you’re being missed severely!” Haruki pushed off the balustrade and turned to walk back to their room.

“I bet there is at least one girl who is really into you in today’s group,” Akihiko remarked and Haruki just laughed it off as a ridiculous notion. Something about the way Haruki just brushed off the possibility that one of the girls would be interested in him really irked Akihiko.

They re-entered their party mid-banter, Akihiko looking a bit miffed while Haruki was still grinning broadly, mistaking his friend’s attempts at pushing his ego as just some more teasing and joking. He waved off his bandmate und pushed Akihiko back towards his seat, while stumbling back to Yatake’s side, who was giving him one of his knowing looks, even if Haruki didn’t understand what the older one thought he knew.

Haruki finished off the by now warm rest of his beer with a grimace and before he knew it, had a refill that he could not decline. In fact, he continued to have more to drink over the rest of the party than he had planned. The group started doing a few games to get some balance back into the interactions and the flow of alcohol was just a natural part of it.

Luckily, there were some more conversations to be had and the mixer turned out to be more fun than expected.

When it was time to leave, the party split into some smaller groups, only a few actual couples had formed that were going home together or to the next love hotel maybe. The rest piled together in groups of friends and people who shared the same way home, at least partially.

Haruki was fighting sleep and his drunken state at the same time, he hadn’t expected to stay this late and get this drunk. When Take-chan inquired whether he was sure he would get home safely, Akihiko promised to take care of that and accompany Haruki home, inviting himself to a sleep-over at his bandmate’s place at the same time.

When Yatake said his goodbye and jogged away to get the last train, Akihiko hooked arms with Haruki and led him home. Despite being quite drunk himself, Haruki in comparison seemed to have really overdone it today and was basically sleepwalking all the way back home. It was a bit of work for Akihiko to drag him along on the right path.

Haruki managed to unlock his apartment door and almost stumbled over his own feet, when he was trying to kick off his shoes. His bright laughter filled the apartment and Akihiko could only shake his head at him with a grin. When drunk, Haruki got really jovial.

They actually managed to pull out and set up the futon for Akihiko right in front of Haruki’s bed, even though he wouldn’t mind sleeping on the couch like he had done a few times before, when the futon felt like too much work.

Haruki pulled off his jeans and socks and nothing more before collapsing right onto his bed. It showed how exhausted he was that he didn’t even manage to get ready for bed, much less take a quick shower and brush his teeth before sleep like he usually preferred.

Akihiko stood bent over him, grabbing his hands and trying to pull Haruki up, so he could get into bed properly.

“Hey, at least slip under the blanket or you’ll catch a cold, Haru.”

But Haruki was a dead weight and his only reply was a noncommittal sound, so Akihiko let him flop back onto the mattress. He somehow managed to pull the blanket out under Haruki with some manoeuvring and spread it over him, tucking him in.

He was definitely knocked out and Akihiko took a moment to sit down at the edge of the bed and brush the mess of hair out of Haruki’s face. Somehow it had become a habit of his but he really liked playing with Haruki’s hair. He kept growing it out for some reason and it was always so tempting to play with the locks.

Untangling a strand of hair that had somewhat looped around Haruki’s ear weirdly, Akihiko continued to gently caress the sleeping man’s cheek with his thumb, letting it brush against the tips of his eyelashes.

Akihiko was aware of the way Haruki looked at him when he thought he didn’t notice. He knew why the other was always flinching and getting flustered when Akihiko was teasing him. It was weirdly thrilling and also quite flattering to have the attention of Haruki and be liked by someone like him.

And it was also kind of cute that he probably thought it was his secret when he was so easy to read.

“Be a bit more confident, Haru, you are more attractive than you think,” Akihiko whispered to the sleeping Haruki before leaving his side to snuggle up on the futon.

When sleep pulled him under a few seconds later, Akihiko dreamt of Haruki’s hands. He saw them plug the strings of his Fender skillfully, dance over the keyboard of his laptop swiftly. He watched those long slender fingers swipe over the screen of his smartphone, wipe the condensation off the rim of his beer glass, spin a pen around his thumb.

It was a fascinating kaleidoscope of gestures Akihiko’s brain must have picked up over the time he had known Haruki. Hands that held a cigarette so delicately but operated a siphon with practiced and fast moves. There were so many different impressions of Haruki’s hands in his memories.

By the time he awoke the next morning, Akihiko would forget about the dream, but a small yearning for the touch of those hands remained since.

**Author's Note:**

> I genuinely do not know why I wrote this?  
> But I had some rough weeks and little sleep so maybe I just needed some room in my brain
> 
> whoops my hand and hair fetish is showing, pardon me


End file.
